Some ideas to help keep you in the loop with your friends

• Ways friends can help

  • Ask them to keep calling you, even if you don't always feel like talking.
  • Ask them to keep inviting you to things, even if you can't always go, you'll go when you can.
  • If you can't go out, ask some friends over to watch a movie or to just hang out together.
  • Ask friends to visit you in the hospital - give them a heads up on what to expect, especially if you look different or you're hooked up to medical equipment.
  • If you can't see your friends, ask them to keep in touch through e-mail, letters, or the phone.
  • Tell your friends that sometimes all you need is for them to listen.
  • Have friends over to watch DVDs and eat snacks.
  • Play video games at home or at a friend's place
  • Play instruments with your friends, and if you don't play an instrument then maybe this is a good time to learn!
  • Make art, computer art or a web site with a friend
  • Surf the web for information on your favourite hobbies.
  • Cook / bake with friends.
  • Ask friends to take lots of funny photos at school events and parties and get them to bring them over.
  • Remind them that even though you may look different on the outside, you're still the same person on the inside.
  • Your doctor will let you know what you can and can't do based on your specific circumstance. (Maybe you can do more or less than you think!)

• Go out with friends

  • Keep snacks and a drink with you, like biscuits or fruit & water, this will help avoid nausea.
  • Let parents/partners know what you are doing, where you are going and what time you think you will be back. (This will help reduce their stress levels and ultimately yours.)
  • Take your mobile phone with you, or give out a friend's number, so that you can contact somebody if you need to or vice versa.
  • Skip all-you-can-eat buffets, salad bars, street vendors, etc. places where food is left in the open.
  • Use condiments from serving packets; don't spoon from all-for-one containers.
  • Ask for freshly prepared food, especially from a fast food joint

• What friends may be thinking

  Chances are, your friends have never had a friend with cancer, and some may not know how to react. It can help to understand what your friends may be thinking:

  • If they are avoiding you, they may not know what to say or they may be worried about saying the wrong thing.
  • If they avoid mentioning your cancer, they may be afraid of upsetting you.
  • If they aren't calling you, it may be because they think you won't feel like talking.
  • If they aren't inviting you to be a part of activities, they may think you won't be able to go or they may feel guilty about having fun when you're sick.
  • If they aren't visiting you, they may think you don't want visitors or worry about any potential awkward moments during the visit.
  • Don't be afraid to take the lead and call your friends or invite them over. Plan activities that you feel comfortable doing, and your friends will probably have a better understanding of what you are able to do with them.

• Communicating with friends

  Because your friends probably don't know much about cancer, you can begin by explaining about your cancer and treatment.
  
  Start by deciding what you want your friends to know. You may want to tell your good friends a lot but just tell your casual friends something simple like "I have cancer, but I'm getting treatment and will be OK." Chances are your friends aren't going to bring up your cancer, so discuss it when you feel ready. The more open you are with your friends, the more opportunity they have to be supportive and accepting. If you're nervous about talking with your friends, decide ahead of time what you want to say. Remember that you are in charge of what you tell people, so you don't have to tell anyone until you're ready, and you don't have to say more than you want to. Answer your friends' questions with as much information as you are comfortable giving.
  
  If you want them to know more but aren't sure how to tell them, let them know that you will ask one of your health professionals for some written information, or put them onto this web site; maybe even look at it together.